


Gone Away

by grungyblonde



Category: Vikings (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-18
Updated: 2019-01-05
Packaged: 2019-06-29 04:56:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 19,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15722424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grungyblonde/pseuds/grungyblonde
Summary: When Ubbe has to depart for the raids, he leaves his young wife and child in the care of the only person he trusts to watch over them, his brother Hvitserk. What follows is a tale of love, betrayal, and brotherhood.





	1. Chapter 1

Ubbe stroked the top of his wife’s hair as he hugged her close, soaking in her warmth before he was forced to depart. They had been there at the docks, holding each other in a sad embrace while their toddling son clung to their legs and the ships were loaded, longer than any other couple. Ubbe knew the time was nearing. Soon he would have to tear himself away from them, step upon his ship, and sail across the sea.  
This would be the first time he had left her since they had been married, less than two years before. He had taken her with him on the raids once, before she was his wife. Even though she had stayed behind at the camp he fretted over her safety constantly. Never again, he told himself. Never again would he bring her along, let his sweet wife follow him so closely to danger.  
Ubbe tilted her head up to his, heart breaking when he saw her cheeks stained with tears. “I will bring you back treasures like you have never seen. Gold and jewels. Everything you deserve,” he promised her as he wiped the wetness from her face with his palms.  
Brenna’s soft brown eyes bore into his, her voice stern and much stronger than she felt, “Just bring yourself back Ubbe.”  
“Always,” he whispered as he brought her into a deep kiss. She let him run his hands over her body, her body that still carried a bit of extra weight from her pregnancy. Her breasts were fuller and her hips were wider, stomach a bit softer, but Ubbe only loved it more. It was the body that had delivered and nursed his son, gave him everything he had ever wanted. And it was the same body that he had made love to the entire night before, sinking into her soft warm flesh until they could only cling to each other in a sweaty exhaustion. She was his home.  
He finally pulled away slightly, smiling until she returned a small one of her own, the dimples that he loved apparent on her full cheeks. “And you, little Raul!” He exclaimed as he scooped up his son. The child was the spitting image of him, crystal clear blue eyes and a mess of curly blonde hair. And to Ubbe’s delight, the same round cheeks and deep dimples as Brenna. “Be good for your mother. And don’t grow too tall while I’m away, eh?”  
Raul cooed, grasping at Ubbe’s beard with his chubby fist.  
Ubbe hugged them both, tight, until the tot began to squirm in between them. Ubbe settled his son in his wife’s arms as he spotted the man standing behind them.  
“Hvitserk,” Ubbe stepped towards him grasped him by the his arms. “I’m entrusting you with my everything brother. Keep them safe for me.”  
Hvitserk smiled at Ubbe, gripping his face in a familiar brotherly embrace. He stared him hard in the eyes as their foreheads touched, conveying how seriously he took the request. “I would die for them brother. They are safe with me, I swear it.”  
“Help Brenna whenever you can,” Ubbe whispered so that his wife couldn’t hear. “She has never been without me before. She is a stubborn woman but I don’t want her having to work herself to death while I am away.”  
Hvitserk nodded his understanding as he shoved his brother away; the roughness had always been the main way they expressed their affection for one another.  
Ubbe turned back to his wife and child. They looked so small and vulnerable huddled together. Ubbe didn’t know how we would make it through the following months, not seeing them, not being there to protect them.  
“When I return we will get to work on another child. First thing.” Ubbe’s eyes crinkled fondly down at her. “If we did not already create one last night. Maybe when I return I will be greeted by the sight of you growing round with my seed once again.”  
Brenna chuckled at her husband but her voice grew sad. “I love you Ubbe. Now go. Before I lose my strength and try to drag you home.”  
Ubbe gave her a solemn look and brushed his lips softly against hers before kissing Raul’s curls. “Take care of my heart Brenna.”  
And then he was stomping away, hopping into the biggest longboat to stand at the front. He looked like a warrior and a leader then and Brenna understood why he must leave. He was a true Viking. He couldn’t continue to watch as his brothers left on raids while he stayed wrapped in his cocoon of happiness and safety, no matter how much he might want to.  
They stared at each other now. Brenna knew she had to stay strong, that she could not allow him to see her breaking. She stood straight, looking every bit like the proud Viking wife.  
The wind caught Ubbe’s braid as his ship finally began to row away and Brenna felt her heart in her throat. Even as the longboat turned to face the west, he didn’t look away from them. She couldn’t suppress the slight trembles that ran through her now and she prayed he was too far away to see.  
Suddenly Brenna felt a strong arm pulling her into its warmth. She knew it was Hvitserk, bringing her into his side, and she was grateful for his comfort. He held her tight as they watched Ubbe sail away and it was only when his ship was nearly out of sight that she buried her face in Hvitserk’s chest, muffling a quiet sob.  
—————————  
They walked in silence up the hill, Hvitserk balancing his nephew on his shoulders while Brenna walked slightly behind him, her eyes cast downward.  
The only demand Brenna had when Ubbe had proposed was that they would stay in their own house instead of the Hall with his mother and brothers. Brenna wanted a home that was theirs, away from the bustle of the growing village. And away from her new mother in law, who was drunk more often than not. She wanted a place of her own to take care of, a place to raise children and grow old with Ubbe. Ubbe, of course, was delighted and set to work immediately, commissioning the help of his brothers. Even Ivar assisted in building their cabin, though he was sure to complain the entire time.  
The finished product was everything Brenna had ever dreamed of and she wept happy tears in Ubbe’s arms when he finally presented it to her.  
It was a quaint and cozy home but had plenty of room to house the large family that Ubbe craved. Brenna had simple tastes but Ubbe was still a prince and quickly filled the cabin with luxuries and comforts.  
And from there they started on their life together, Ubbe tending the land and hunting while Brenna fulfilled the domestic duties. It was bliss.  
Their home looked empty and dreary to Brenna now as they finally caught sight of it. It was not the same without her husband. She could not imagine waking up in the morning without Ubbe’s eager kisses, his hardness pressed into her back. He would not be sneaking into the house throughout the day to surprise her from behind, grabbing her and swinging her around, ignoring her squeals as he peppered her with kisses.  
“He will return, soon, and when he does you will cherish each other more than ever,” Hvitserk spoke beside her, as if reading her thoughts.  
Brenna smiled as she reached up to pull Raul from her brother in law’s shoulders. “And when did you become so wise Hvitserk?”  
Hvitserk shrugged as he smirked. “I have some business to attend to in town today but I will bring my things back here before nightfall. In time for dinner of course.”  
“You really don’t have to stay here Hvitserk. Ubbe worries too much. I don’t want us to burden you, we will be fine.”  
Hvitserk shook his head as he ruffled his nephew’s hair. “And provoke Ubbe’s wrath? I made a promise to him. Besides, you are my sister now too and I won’t leave you and Raul here alone. It’s my duty.”  
Brenna opened her mouth to protest but Hvitserk poked her playfully in the side. “And I intend for you to fatten me up over the next few months. You know I’m always looking for an excuse to get you to cook for me. I won’t be gone long.” Hvitserk gave her a chaste kiss on her cheek and turned to stroll back down the path to Kattegat.  
Brenna watched him leave, still feeling the ache from Ubbe’s absence, but grateful she would not spend the coming months without a friend.


	2. Chapter 2

_“Who is that one there? The short one in the simple dress?”_

_Sigurd looked to the girl Ubbe described. “I don’t know brother. I do not recognize her. Maybe she has just turned old enough to celebrate unattended.”_

_Ubbe nodded, his eyes never leaving the dancing maiden. The women dancing around the fire was a common sight during celebrations, one all the brothers enjoyed. But while the others danced to intrigue the eyes of the men, hips swaying seductively and shooting alluring smiles, the girl danced for herself. Her joy was obvious as she twirled around, long brown hair flying around her, a wide smile on her face. Ubbe found he could not keep the smile from growing on his own as he watched her obvious elation. Her face was young and fresh but the plain white dress couldn’t hide the obvious curves of her body, shapely hips and ample breasts._

_Hvitserk was leaning his elbow on Ubbe’s shoulder now, biting down on a piece of fruit as he eyed the festivities hungrily. “That one there,” Ubbe nodded to his favorite brother, “I want that one to bare my children.”_

_Hvitserk nodded along with him as his eyes found the object of Ubbe’s attention. “Aye,” he mumbled approving, mouth still full, “Mind if she bares a few of mine as well?” he ribbed._

_Ubbe gave him a grin and a good natured, albeit rather hard, clap to the back of the head, making Hvitserk spit out his half chewed food. Ignoring the choked sounds of his brother Ubbe stepped down from the higher ground and closer to the fire. As soon as he approached he felt hands trying to pull him into dance. Normally the prince would have happily obliged, dancing into the night until he picked one to take back to his bed. But now he just smiled politely and brushed them off, shaking his head._

_The girl was still flitting and whirling, having gathered a bit of her long dress in her hands, revealing smooth legs up to her knees. She hadn’t noticed Ubbe stalking through the circle, seemingly the only one who hadn’t. He took a few steps closer so that when she spun again she nearly collided into his chest. She stared at him with wide eyes full of surprise before mumbling an apology and moving to turn away from him. Ubbe caught her elbow gently to stop her. He leaned down to her ear so he could hear her over the noise._

_“What is your name?” he asked simply._

_“Brenna.”_

_"Brenna.” He repeated the name, liking the way it sounded on his lips. He could see now, up close in the light of the fire, how light and warm her brown eyes were. “Dance with me Brenna.”_

The memory played through Ubbe’s mind, providing him with a small amount of comfort even as he sat uncomfortably on the deck of the boat, head leaned against a sack of supplies. It was nighttime now and they were taking a rest in turns but the down time only made his thoughts wander back to his family. He knew Brenna was probably preparing the evening supper, cooking a meal far better than anything he would eat for the next few months. He wondered if she was thinking of him, if she already felt the cheerlessness and loneliness. He wondered if Raul had noticed his father was gone. He bitterly asked himself if the young tot would even remember who he was when he returned, if he would recognize his face. Ubbe softly knocked his own head back into the surface behind, trying to will the thought from his mind. Sigurd and Ivar were sitting not far away and they looked up when he gave a disgruntled sigh.

“Homesick already brother?” Ivar drawled as his eyes glintly. “Surely you haven’t been wife-whipped that badly.”

“I don’t think he’s the sick one,” Sigurd turned his head a bit maliciously to Ivar.

This was Ivar’s first raid and he had spent the first bit of the day throwing up over the side. It was another reason Ubbe felt he had to come. He did not believe Ivar was ready. He had always been supportive of his younger brother but he still felt that Ivar’s handicap would get him killed.

Ivar shot a death glare at Sigurd but before he could start Ubbe spoke in an overly irritated tone,”If you two start this shit now I’m going to throw the both of you overboard and be done with it.”

Ivar continued to eye Sigurd with an unsettling glare but remained silent.

“Are you not glad to go raiding again at all Ubbe? Find glory? I know your wife is pretty and you live comfortably but I would think you would be getting restless of it all by now.”

Ubbe grunted back at him. “You are too young to understand Sigurd.” He leaned back again and closed his eyes, ready to be done with the conversation and return to his thoughts,”You do not understand what it means to have the responsibility of being a husband. I worry for my wife and child.”

Sigurd snickered. “I would worry about my wife too if I left her in the care of Hvitserk.”

Ubbe opened his eyes and narrowed them at Sigurd. “Do not joke about my wife.”

“Ah it was only a jest,” Sigurd mumbled dejectedly. “We all know Hvitserk would rather be on this raid now.”

It was true out of all the brothers Hvitserk was the one who enjoyed the high of battle the most. He joined every raid and at this point had seen more than Ubbe. Ubbe had wanted to settle down and establish a family but Hvitserk wanted the opposite of that. He wanted the sound of battle drums in his ears and the feel of strange foreign women beneath him. He had been wounded in the last raids, badly enough that they had feared for his life. That had been the last straw for Ubbe. He couldn’t hide from his duty any longer. Hvitserk had recovered quickly enough but had agreed to stay behind this time and look after his sister in law and nephew.

“Shut up and go to sleep,” was all that Ubbe said.

————————————————————

Brenna heard the slam of the door and for just a moment she allowed herself to pretend that it was Ubbe. But Hvitserk’s voice erupted through the quiet of the house and her fantasy was quickly ruined.

“Just in time for dinner I see!” He exclaimed heartily, reminding her of an excited child.

She couldn’t help but smile fondly at him as she turned around. It was not an odd occurrence for Hvitserk to join them for dinner. He had made it quite clear that he preferred her meals rather than the fancy ones his mother always had the thralls prepared. When he was not spending the night with a wayward woman or off raiding, he was there at his brother’s home, enjoying the warmth of their fire and Brenna’s hearty food.

“Here let me take your things to the back room. I’ve already gotten it ready for you,” Brenna said as she tried to take the sacks of his belongings from his hands but he shook his head with a grin.

“Ive got it Brenna. You just worry about my supper,” he teased.

Hvitserk slung the sacks over his shoulder again before making his way to Brenna’s cooking pot. Before she could say anything he was dipping his fingers into the soup before sucking on them sloppily. This earned him a hard whack on his hand from a wooden spoon as Brenna reprimanded him.

“Hvitserk Ragnarsson! How many times do I have to tell you! Keep your filthy hands out of my pots!”

Hvitserk only grinned guiltily like a naughty child being scolded. He opened his mouth to defend himself but at that moment Raul came crawling quickling through the kitchen area. “Ahh look who has come to save his Uncle Hvitserk!”

Hvitserk knelt down and scooped up the child, thrusting him high in the air over his head. Raul laughed merrily as a thin string of drool escaped his mouth and landed on Hvitserk’s face. Hvitserk made a face as Brenna tried to hide her laughter but didn’t seem overly bothered as he sat the boy down on his unsteady feet. Raul quickly clung to Hvitserk’s legs for support.

“I guess I deserved that one little Ubbeson.” Hvitserk made to shoot Brenna a wink but her laughter had faded as she looked down at Raul with sad eyes. “Brenna what’s wrong?”

“Ubbe will miss his first steps. He’ll probably be running by the time he returns.”

Hvitserk barely missed a beat as he picked the boy up again. “Well we can’t have that. I guess I’m just going to have to carry you around until your father returns.”

———————————————————-

Brenna giggled quietly as she watched Hvitserk gulp down dinner like a starving man, barely taking the time to chew. Hvitserk noticed and stopped with his mouth wide open and the spoon in midair. “What?”

Brenna tried to suppress another giggle. “I think you have more food on your face than Raul does.”

Hvitserk glanced over at the little boy, busy smashing peas in his fists. Looking slightly embarrassed, he wiped his mouth with the back of his sleeve.

“Is it good?” Brenna asked as she neatly took a bite of her own.

Hvitserk nodded vigorously as he gulped down another bite. “What’s for dessert?”

Brenna shook her head in amazement. She had never quite gotten over Hvitserk’s seemingly unending appetite. “I have a pie cooling.”

Hvitserk’s eyes lit up as he pushed his empty plate forward. Brenna was almost surprised that he hadn’t licked it clean. She sighed but found herself smiling as she got up to fill his cup with ale. Hvitserk reclined back in his chair, comfortably full as he made faces at Raul across the table.

He gave Brenna a smile as she handed him another full cup of ale. “Do you have any goat’s milk as well?”

Brenna shook her head as she hummed pleasantly, turning to slice the pie.

“I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, but the gods blessed Ubbe with you. I know he’s missing you now. The food we eat on the boat is horrible.”

The sound of Ubbe’s name made Brenna’s thoughts drift once again to her husband. Brenna turned to give Hvitserk the saucer, a bitter worry creeping inside her mind. “We are friends Hvitserk, are we not?”

Hvitserk nodded at her as she handed him the saucer of pie. “Of course.”

“So you’ll always be honest with me?”

Hvitserk looked to Brenna curiously, “What’s bothering you Brenna?”

“You don’t think…” Brenna sat at the table and looked to her hands as she wrung them in her lap. She cleared her throat and willed herself to speak. “ I know what men do on these raids Hvitserk. Do you think…do you think that Ubbe might do those things…that he might get lonely?”

It might have been the ale but it took Hvitserk a moment to realize what Brenna was speaking of. “Ubbe was never like that. Even before you met. He never…took women…when we raided.”

“Yes but,” Brenna cleared her throat and met Hvitserk’s eyes. “What if he is lonely and wants to seek comfort in a shieldmaiden?”

“Brenna. Ubbe has only had eyes for you since the moment you he saw you.”

Brenna looked to her hands again, suddenly self-conscious, “I know Ubbe loves me. But I’ve had a child. My body is softer now. I’m rounder. I know there are many beautiful women warriors. Women who might throw themselves at him.”

Hvitserk’s eyebrows scrunched together in confusion as if he didn’t believe or understand what she was saying, “You have the perfect body Brenna,”he spoke as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

“Oh hush.”

“It’s true,” Hvitserk began to dig in his pie with his fork but looked at her before eating. “You have the body of a woman. You have the most perfect…” he stopped himself quickly. “Well, you shouldn’t think badly of yourself.”

“Don’t be inappropriate,” Brenna chided as she felt herself blush a deep red, scooping Raul up partly to hide her embarrassment at his blunt honesty.

Hvitserk shrugged, returning to his food. “Well Ubbe’s not here to tell you. I know he wouldn’t want you feeling unsure of yourself.”

Brenna wiped Raul’s hands and face as she smiled to herself. “I’m going to put Raul to bed now and retire myself. You should as well if you wish to be up before the sun.”

Hvitserk’s face fell almost comically.“Up before the sun?”

“Yes.” Brenna looked at him sternly. “You are not obligated to stay here but if you do, you aren’t going to be sleeping in till noon and then eating all my food.”

Hvitserk gave a quiet grumble but still looked up and smiled. “Yes Mor.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mor is a Norse word for Mother.


	3. Chapter 3

_“And what do you dream of Ubbe?”_

_Ubbe looked down in slight surprise._

_He had sought out Brenna at every corner for the past week, constantly calling on her. But the young woman had proven to be quite shy. She never rejected him, his words or his presence. Nor his gentle kisses. He did most of the talking and every time she smiled back or answered in her short quiet words, it was enough. They had been walking through the busy market square, Ubbe proudly tucking her close against him as he told her of his brothers._

_“They all dream of glory. They want to be as great as Father was. Before he left.”_

_“And what do you dream of Ubbe?”_

_After a moment he chuckled slightly, almost as if he had been exposed. “Nothing so grand. I want to be known as a brave warrior, of course. But I want more than that.”_

_“More?”_

_“Yes,” Ubbe studied something in the distance for a moment; it was his turn to be shy. He returned his gaze to Brenna, a soft smile playing on his lips. “I want to be happy. I do not believe my father was ever truly happy. I want a simpler life than he had. I want to get married. Have a good wife. Someone I can cherish and who will cherish me in return.” His smile grew slightly devious as we waggled his brows at her, “And children. I want many children.”_

_Brenna blushed and cast her eyes down but Ubbe felt her move a little closer into his side._

_As they reached the outskirts of the market Ubbe turned the young woman to face him, holding her by the hands as he looked to her curiously. “But what are your dreams Brenna?”_

_She did not answer him, instead looking away as she chewed the inside of her cheek._

_“Have I made you nervous? I only wanted to make clear what my intentions are. I want these things and I want them with you.” Ubbe eyes were firm now._

_Brenna took a deep breath and he could see the fire in her gaze that he had not recognized before now. “I did not know what I longed for until now. I couldn’t possibly have.”_

_“What is it you long for?” He pulled her closer, almost desperate in his movements, urging her to tell him._

_“For you to find the happiness you seek. I don’t think I’ve ever wanted anything more.”_

“Land!”

Ubbe’s mind shot back to reality as the yell alerted everyone of the coast line before them. Fifteen days. It had been fifteen days of sailing on this damned ship, fifteen days of listening to the breaking of waves and the bickering of his brothers. But they were here now and Ubbe felt a bit of adrenaline in his blood he hadn’t felt in years. He prepared his mind for battle as he turned to the youngest of his brothers.

“May the gods be with us today.”

————————————————————

“You damned old sow!”

Brenna sat perched on her stool, milking the nanny goats as she listened to Hvitserk’s bellows and grunts.

“Stupid fat pig! I’m going to eat you one day and mark my words, I’m going to savor every bite!”

Brenna rolled her eyes as she watched Hvitserk dive towards the hog again. It slipped out of his arms leaving him facedown in the mud, cursing the gods.

“Are you sure the pig is really the stupid one? It seems to have no problem outwitting you,” Brenna mused.

Hvitserk shot her an irritated look as he ran a hand through his muddy braids. “ _Plow the fields, mend the fence, catch the bloody pig_ ,” he mimicked. “You work me like a damn slave woman. I am about ready to be done with this and return to the Hall.

Brenna didn’t look up as she continued milking. “You have been saying that since the first day. Yet you are still here. And it was your fault the pig was out in the first place.”

Hvitserk’s grumbled something incoherent under his breath. “I don’t think I favor you as much as I used to. I used to think Ubbe was lucky but that was before I found out he had married a slave driver,” he snapped at her but still came forward to sprawl on his back on the ground beside her.

Brenna gave him a slight nudge with her boot, only glancing down for a second. “Hard work is good for you. You are a spoiled man. Ubbe is a prince too but he never complained this much.”

“Yes, well, Ubbe also got to end the day with a beautiful woman in his bed. Me, I do all the work and get none of the reward.”

Brenna clicked her tongue, “My gods, I have never seen a grown man pout like you do. Go find a woman then, if it will keep you from whining constantly.”

Hvitserk was silent for a moment as he stared up at the sky, lost in thought, before clearing his throat. “It is fine. I was only talking.”

Brenna cocked an eyebrow down at him. “I do not expect you to take a vow of celibacy the entire time you are here. I understand the needs of men. Go. I can get everything else done.”

Hvitserk’s eyebrows furrowed together, a sudden darkness crossing his features. “I said it is fine Brenna.”

“Very well,” Brenna shrugged, not noticing that his mood seemed blacker than a moment before. “Finish up here so I can go wake Raul from his nap.”

Hvitserk leaned up on his elbows. “I don’t know how to milk a goat.”

Brenna sighed. “It’s not hard Hvitserk. Come around and I will show you.”

With a huff he stood up and came around to the other side of the goat, eyeing Brenna’s milking motions.

“Get down closer so you can see.”

Hvitserk stooped a bit lower.

“Closer.”

Hvitserk’s face was visible on the other side of the goat’s teats now and Brenna willed herself to keep a straight face as she aimed the udder at his features and sprayed him with the milk. He made a face, half surprise and half disgust, as he felt the goat’s milk coat him. Brenna head was tilted slightly, her eyes innnocent, before her mouth slowly tilted up in amusement at him.

“Brenna!” He growled before quickly standing and walking to the bucket of water by the barn. Brenna’s coy smile had quickly turned to delighted laughter behind him.

“Very funny,” Hvitserk mumbled at her, his back still turned.

“Oh don’t be s-“ before she could finish her words, Hvitserk was sprinting back to her, the pail of water in his hands and a playful glint in his eyes.

“Don’t you dare!” Brenna leapt from her stool as Hvitserk chased her, sloshing half the water from the bucket as he laughed.

“Don’t do it!” Brenna was facing him now as she backed away but her eyes were smiling. Strands of hair had escaped from her long brown braid and Hvitserk could only think of how young she looked now, nothing like a wife and mother.

“Oh, no, you wanted to play games.” Hvitserk took another step towards her, grinning as his free hand grasped at her dress.

“No, stop!” She shrieked between laughs. “Stop it! Stop! Ubbe stop!”

They both froze as his name escaped accidentally from her lips. Hvitserk hand reaching for his waist, the smile still on his face but slowly fading. Brenna’s eyes quickly dropped as she made to move from under his shadow.

“I need to wake Raul.” It was barely a whisper.

She felt Hvitserk’s hand on her arm. His voice was reassuring and almost apologetic, “Brenna-“

“I have to go Hvitserk.”

————————————————————

“I had a dream last night.”

Hvitserk and Brenna both rolled their eyes at Aslaug’s words. Brenna could not deny the power of Aslaug’s gift; no one could. But still, visions and magic had never interested her.

“I dream almost every night Mother,”Hvitserk spoke. “Would you like to hear about the dream I had last night? Everything was normal. I was training. But when I looked down, I was stark naked. Everyone laughed. I wonder what it means?”

Brenna’s mouth twitched as she kept her eyes on her food but Aslaug continued as if she had not heard him. “I was in the forest. At first it was peaceful. But then I heard an awful growl. I turned the corner and saw a wolf and a dog, snarling and fighting. They sank their teeth into each other over and over. There was so much blood that the entire forest was coated in it. I heard an awful scream and then I awoke.”

“Why are you telling us this Mother? That doesn’t sound like a vision.”

Aslaug tipped the glass of wine to her lips. “It haunts me.”

“Is this why you insisted we join you for dinner tonight? To tell us you had a bad dream?”

“Of course not.” Aslaug nodded to Brenna who was bouncing Raul in her lap. “I wanted to see my grandson. You do not bring him to see me nearly enough. And now Hvitserk, my only son not gone away at the moment, will barely leave your house either.”

“We have been busy,” Hvitserk shrugged.

“I never figured you one for farm life,” Aslaug said and Hvitserk did not miss the way her eyes narrowed.

Raul was unsettled now, fighting to break away from his mother’s lap. “Ah he wants his Uncle Hvitserk.” Hvitserk came around the table to lift Raul from Brenna, thankful for the distraction from his mother. Brenna smiled up at him gratefully, trying to ignore Aslaug’s unwavering gaze on them.

“I will never understand why you refuse to take slaves,” the queen sighed. “I hope you and Ubbe will move back into the Hall when he returns.”

“Why would we do that? We have a home we are quite comfortable in. A home we are both proud of.”

“I am sure your home is very cozy. But Ubbe will rule Kattegat one day. He needs to be here. He needs to learn about ruling. Instead of plowing the fields like a common village man.”

Brenna tried to keep her voice even as she addressed her mother-in-law. “Bjorn is next in line.”

Aslaug took another drink before laughing mirthlessly. “When is the last time you have seen Bjorn in Kattegat? He will never rule. Nor does he want to. You can not deny Ubbe his birthright Brenna. You are being selfish.”

Brenna felt her cheeks flame in hot anger but before she could snap back at Aslaug she felt a warm hand on her shoulder, squeezing it slightly.

“Let’s head home Brenna.”

————————————————————

Ubbe cut down another Saxon, his own war cry drowning out the screams. Blood and sweat coated his face but his body was not tired. The familiar adrenaline surged through him now, urging him on. His body was controlled by the gods now and the glory would be theirs.

“In the name of Odin!”

He could not keep from smiling and raising his arms, an axe in both hands.

“Ubbe!”

He recognized Sigurd’s voice and turned to look at his brother who stood a few paces away. He was staring at the land past the village, a look of fear in his eyes. An army. A Saxon army of chain mail and steel. An army that was not supposed to be there. It was more men then he had ever seen.

No.

“RETREAT!”

With one last glance at the descending soldiers, Ubbe nodded to Sigurd and they began to run. He had to make it back to the archer’s line where Ivar was; he would not be able to make it back to camp on his own.

Ubbe glanced to his right again, where Sigurd was supposed to be, but his brother was not there. Ubbe whipped around, fresh panic rising in his chest.

“SIGURD!” Ubbe fought his way through the retreating Vikings, now running in the opposite direction.

“SIGU-“

Ubbe’s cry was cut off by the thousands of arrows falling from the sky like the rain of Ragnarok. He felt a sharp pain in his chest and looked down to find two arrows piercing through his armor. The air sounded strangely quiet around him now and when he looked up again he was met with a shield crashing into his face, knocking him into an infinite darkness.

_“And what do you dream of Ubbe?”_


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: This contains a scene of attempted rape.

_“As soon as the sun rises I’m sending a boat with the injured back to Kattegat. You will be on it. I should never have brought you here.”_

_Brenna froze at Ubbe’s words. The sting of them caused her hands to quit lovingly stroking his face as she stared at him in shock. He had come back to the camp, fresh from battle, and they had all but thrown themselves at each other. Now his eyes were hard and unwavering as he held her face, ordering her to leave. She ripped herself away from him and took a few steps backwards into their tent._

_“What? I do not understand Ubbe.”_

_He was no longer looking at her as he rubbed his eyes with his bloodied hand. Blood that was not his own, Brenna had been relieved to find._

_“I should not have brought you here,” he repeated. “This is no place for you.”_

_Brenna reached for him again as she stepped closer. She wanted to comfort him. Tell him she was stronger than he thought. That she was safe. “I will not leave you,” she whispered as she embraced him again._

_For a moment Ubbe melted into her, allowing himself to get lost in her softness. But his voice turned firm again as he pushed her away to hold her at arms’ length. “It was selfish of me to bring you here. I did not want to be away from you for so long. That is my fault.”_

_“It is not your fault. I want to be at your side. Always. Even if I can’t follow you into battle, I want to be here.”_

_Ubbe almost growled as he turned away from her. “Do not be stubborn.”_

_Brenna felt her face heat up as she watched him strip his chest plate off. She had been so relieved, so elated to see him when he returned unharmed. This was not how she expected him to act towards her. “I am not the one being stubborn! You can not tell me what to do! I am not leaving!”_

_Ubbe whirled back around in a second, his eyes darker than she had ever seen them, throwing the armor hard into the corner as he stomped to her. “You are going to be my wife and you will do as I say! You are going to be on that boat if I have to place you on it myself!”_

_The words had barely left his mouth before she was rearing her hand back to bring it crashing across the side of cheek with a loud crack. He did not so much as flinch but his nostrils flared and suddenly his face was close enough to feel his hot breath on hers as he caught her wrist._

_“I love you, Brenna, with all my heart. But you will never do that again.” He pointed his finger in her face, his voice oddly even. “Do you understand me?”_

_Brenna tried to jerk her hand away from his grasp but his grip only tightened. “Do you understand me Brenna?” She glared at him and it was obvious she had no intentions of backing down._

_With a frustrated snarl Ubbe yanked her toward him, tangling his other hand in her hair. His lips crashed into hers in something more like a bite than a kiss and Brenna knew she was no longer in control of her own body. Her quiet moan was lost as his mouth continued to assault her own and his hands made to violently tear her dress away._

_Ubbe was the only man she had ever been with; every bit of experience she had, she owed to him. He was usually so gentle with her, making sure she was ready for him, that she could accommodate the part of him she was not used to. This was nothing like that. But oddly, enough she felt love in his punishing touches all the same. But it was wild and unrestrained and Ubbe looked more beast than man as he tossed her roughly onto the bed beneath him._

_He tugged his pants down with one hand while the other one firmly held her down. It was unnecessary though. She wasn’t going anwhere; Brenna could only lie there gasping in anticipation. Ubbe covered her body with his own and for a moment his eyes softened._

_“I love you,” he whispered._

_But then he was thrusting into her so hard and so deep that Brenna couldn’t help but to scream out. He quickly placed his hand over her mouth and continued his frantic, punishing pace, eyes never leaving hers._

_Afterwards, while she laid his head against his chest, a happy high still running through her body, Ubbe tilted his lips to her ear, “You will leave tomorrow, okay?”_

_“Okay Ubbe.”_

Brenna couldn’t keep her face from pulling into a reminiscent smile as her hands wrung the water from the laundry. She and Ubbe rarely fought. Most of their time together was peaceful and happy; when they did quarrel Ubbe was quick to try to find a way to appease his wife. But sometimes, especially since that night at the camp, Brenna would find small ways to challenge him, to draw out that dominant side of him that left her a shaking and satisfied mess. She never fooled Ubbe. Sometimes his mouth would quirk up just a bit before taking her roughly, all too eager to play their little game.

“Well would you look at this Asger.”

Brenna’s blood ran cold at the sound of the unfamiliar voice. She quickly turned to address the speaker, a portly man in rags, dirt covering every inch of him. Slightly behind him stood a far skinnier man with flighty eyes, almost bouncing from foot to foot. She could smell them, even paces away.

“Who are you? Why are you on my property?” Brenna stood as straight as she could but her fingers shook slightly as she gripped the garment in her hands.

The man’s face grew into a smile, a sneer really, revealing brown rotted teeth. “She’s very pretty but I still prefer the view of her back side. Turn around dove, so I can see your fat ass again.”

Brenna took a step back, nearly slipping on the wet patch of grass beneath her feet. “You need to leave. Now. I am the wife of Ubbe Ragnarrson and he would have your head just for speaking to me like that.”

The man glanced at his partner whose eyes were still shiftily surveying the property. They obviously recognized Ubbe’s name, even if they were drifters. Still, the ugly smile never wavered. “Wife of Ubbe Ragnarsson? Out here wringing laundry like a common servant? You need to learn to lie better girl.”

Even as her heart pounded in her chest, Brenna’s eyes searched for something, anything, she could defend herself with. Hvitserk had left at the break of dawn to hunt and Brenna had reluctantly agreed to let Aslaug keep Raul until dinner time. She was thankful for that now. Thankful he was safe and guarded, far away from her. It was a small bit of mercy from the gods.

The straggler came forward with a small step and Brenna’s flight instinct kicked in before her mind could even register it. She threw the damp cloth in his face and made to dash towards the front door of her home, praying her feet didn’t betray her. She was almost there when she felt the skinny arms of the quieter man wrap around her shoulders, tackling her hard into the mud beneath them.

“HVITSERK!” She managed to shriek with all her might before the stranger covered her mouth.

She attempted to bite down on his filthy hand but he skillfully cupped his palm, as if he had anticipated it.

“Bring her here Asger.”

Asger lifted her forward, gripping her with surprising strength as she flailed and kicked. _Please gods no._ She could feel her body beginning to tire but she kept fighting, refusing to accept what was about to happen to her. She hadn’t realized she was crying until she felt the hot wetness streaming down her cheeks.

The first man was so close to her now that she could smell, practically taste, his stinking breath. She watched in horror as he brought a rough hand to her colllar bone and ran it down to her breasts. “I bet you taste so sweet dove.”

Brenna squeezed her eyes shut as she tried to will her body to go numb but she still felt the unnamed man press a blade against her skin before cutting the neck of her dress all the way to her waist. Cold air hit her naked front and she found herself praying they would just kill her.

She felt something warm and wet hit her skin but she still didn’t open her eyes. She didn’t open them when she heard something that sounded like water gurgling and she kept them closed even when she felt the man behind her grip her closer and step backwards.

“Let her go.”

Brenna opened her eyes.

The wanderer was lying lifeless on the ground, blood still pouring from the slit in his throat. Hvitserk was standing there facing them with his axe in his hand. His eyes met hers briefly and she could see the fear in them.

“Let her go,” he repeated, fear replaced with a dark fury.

In a flash the man released her mouth but his other arm kept its hold. She saw the glint of the knife he pulled from his belt but before he could place it at her throat Hvitserk had thrown the axe past her face and between the eyes of her attacker. Brenna felt his hands slide from her and she thought she might collapse with him but Hvitserk was already there, steadying her.

She could only stare at him in open mouth shock as he took his face in her hands, looking her over for any damage. She had almost forgotten her skin was bare until Hvitserk moved to take off his cloak and wrap it around her naked front. With a worried look he searched her blank face one last time before pulling her into his chest and burying his nose in her hair.

————————————————————————-

Brenna sat on the edge of the bed, still unable to register a single emotion.

Hvitserk had gently guided her inside before going back out to take care of the bodies. _Their burial will be anything but proper. They will enter the afterworld in disgrace_ , he swore but Brenna could only nod, barely hearing him.

And here she still sat, covered in blood, clutching Hvitserk’s cloak.

“Brenna.”

She looked up to see Hvitserk standing in the doorway. He looked as if he wasn’t sure if he should come any closer to but after a moment he turned to the bowl of water on the wall, dipping a fresh rag in it before sinking to his knees in front of her. When Brenna didn’t pull away, Hvitserk brought the rag to her face and gently wiped her cheek.

“I’m so sorry,” he croaked.

Brenna looked to him in confusion before finally speaking, “You saved me Hvitserk.”

“I heard your scream.” He brushed a bit of hair from Brenna’s forehead as he continued to clean her face. “I’ve never moved so fast in my entire life. It was like a Valkyrie was carrying me out of the woods to you. And then I saw you and..”

Brenna could hear his voice crack and for some reason it grounded her, brought her out of the fog. She brought her hand to his, intertwining their fingers. “You saved me.”

“I should have been here. I’m not leaving you alone again. Not for a moment.”

Brenna knew from the look in his eyes better than to argue about that now. She simply nodded and then his arms were around her, holding her close against him, tighter than before.

“I don’t want you to leave me alone Hvitserk.”


	5. Chapter 5

“Grab my hand Brenna.”

“I can make it up just fine Hvitserk,” Brenna responded haughtily as she made to climb up the rocky ledge. Hvitserk and Raul were already above her, her son perched on Hvitserk’s shoulders, and she didn’t miss the slight amusement in her brother in laws eyes. He had scrambled up the rocks with ease, his young athleticism evident even while balancing his nephew with one hand and his bow and arrows slung across his back.

Hvitserk sighed before placing Raul carefully on the ground and bending down to grab Brenna under her arms. He lifted her easily up to them, like a child, so quickly that Brenna had no time to protest. He was grinning wide when he stood her in front of him and she felt an odd flutter in her stomach when his hands lingered on her waist.

“So stubborn,” he teased with a smirk, finally letting her go so he could turn back to Raul.

“Here let me.” Brenna moved to pick her son up but Hvitserk was already throwing the giggling child over his shoulder. With a sigh of defeat she bent over to pick up the basket she had passed up to him.

The three moved deeper into the forest, Hvitserk insisting on holding Brenna’s hand whenever they crossed a rough bit of terrain, until they reached a good hunting spot.

“I don’t know how you think we are going to be able to hunt with a one year old in tow. He’s not going to stay silent you know. You should have let us stay at home. Its’s been nearly a month since…” Brenna’s voice trailed off but she could see Hvitserk tense up at the mention of what had happened to her.

His voice was soft when he spoke, “Maybe I just wanted the company. Besides, my brothers always claimed I made too much noise to hunt but we always got plenty of deer and rabbits.”

Brenna sighed as she plopped onto a mossy patch of ground. “I hate hunting.”

“Why?” He could not imagine her actually hating anything.

“It’s just dull. You keep quiet and wait to kill something. Silence. Kill something. More silence. Kill something.”

“You have been awfully moody today Brenna. Kind of a pain in the ass,” Hvitserk picked at her but she did not return his cheery smile.

“I miss Ubbe. It has been nearly three months and there are still three more to go. I am lonely.”

“I am here.”

“Yes and I am grateful for that. But you know what I mean. I miss my husband,” Brenna huffed as she turned her eyes to the sky, squinting up at the sun.

“I know.”

They were quiet for a few moments as they watched Raul play, completely fascinated with a slug on a log.

“Do you ever think of settling down Hvitserk? Marriage and children?”

“Every Viking wants sons. Marriage…well…I’m scared I would end up like my mother and father. Miserable and hating each other,” his face turned thoughtful as he considered her question more. “But if I could find something like what you and Ubbe have…I think I would like that. But a woman like you wouldn’t put up with a man like me.”

“A woman like me?”

“A good woman. I probably wouldn’t be a good husband or father. The only thing I’ve ever really been good at is raiding.”

Brenna placed her hand on Hvitserk’s knee gently as she forced him to meet her kind eyes, “I don’t believe that is true at all.”

He returned her smile gratefully while at the same time trying to push back a thought in his head that left an awful feeling of guilt in his stomach. He turned his face from hers just in time to see Raul take a tentative step towards something. “Brenna,” he whispered quietly so he wouldn’t distract the little boy. “Look.”

Brenna clasped her hands together in excitement but Hvitserk calmed her before she could exclaim in encouragement, “If you make a fuss he won’t do it.”

She nodded knowing he was right and they watched with bated breath as he took another step. And then another. And another. Brenna was jumping up before she could stop herself as she cooed at her son, “Oh my baby boy! That’s it! Keep going! You are doing so well!”

Hvitserk laughed as Raul took one look at his mother, practically dancing in her spot, and promptly dropped down backwards on his bottom.

“Oh it doesn’t matter,” Brenna ran over to Raul to cover his cheeks in kisses. “Once they take their first steps, they learn very quickly. Oh my sweet boy!”

Hvitserk could not keep himself from walking over and joining in their joy, his face almost as delighted as hers. “You will have your hands full now, chasing after this one. Ubbe and I were both hellions growing up and I would expect nothing less from his son.”

Brenna shot Hvitserk an apologetic look, “Oh forgive me Hvitserk. I am sure I have scared off every living thing for miles around.”

He was already kneeling with his arms stretched wide, urging Raul to come to him, intent on getting him to take more steps so that he could coax another happy squeal from his Brenna. “We can hunt another day.”

————————————————————————-

True enough, they brought no kills back to the cabin that day. The pair were too busy playing with Raul, watching as he stepped and stumbled, Hvitserk always catching him before he might fall. He was afraid that Brenna might become emotional again at Ubbe’s absence, mourn the fact that he had missed such an important moment with their son. She only mentioned her husband briefly though, stating to Raul how proud his father would be. She seemed truly happy that Hvitserk was there, someone to share in her delight.

The joy of the day did not diminish as they ate their supper, joking and laughing louder than usual, and it stayed present even after Raul was put to bed.

“Come here,” Brenna motioned to Hvitserk, stopping him from going behind the curtain around the washtub. “I must take these braids out so you can wash your hair. It is getting filthy. And your facial hair is a mess. Your moustache is growing over your lips.”

Hvitserk crinkled his nose at her. “It is only your fault for neglecting it.”

Brenna ignored him as she pushed him onto the edge of her bed, moving to sit behind him on her knees. She had fixed his hair many times, even before Ubbe had left. She had always secretly loved it, not as long as Ubbe’s but far softer, silky where Ubbe’s had a rougher texture. She quickly undid the ties holding the braids together and began to carefully run her fingers through them. She didn’t have to look to know that Hvitserk’s eyes were closed, an expression of contentment on his face that someone was running their fingers through his hair. He had always taken such pleasure from simple things.

He let out a low quiet rumble from his throat when her nails grazed his scalp and Brenna was suddenly wondering when the last time he had been touched by a woman. He had surely not left her side in some time, which would be an eternity for him. She was shamed at her own thoughts and began to yank the braids out rougher than before in her hurry.

“Brenna!” Hvitserk reached around to stop her hands, turning his head to look at her, “Have I angered you in some way?” His lip twitched up but her expression was flustered and she gave him no answer.

Without a word, she quickly left the bed to grab the straight razor. Hvitserk eyed her a bit warily. “Please be gentler with the blade than you were my braids.”

Brenna rolled her eyes as she searched for cream and scissors but her touch was gentle again when she began to trim at the hairs around his lips. The hair was not thick on his face, so he had to keep most of it shaved, a fact Ubbe teased him about often. Brenna believed it made him look younger, more innocent, even though she knew that was far from the truth.

Hvitserk opened his legs a bit wider so she could step between them to work. His eyes were open now as they stared at her intently. She kept her eyes at her own fingers trimming and brushing spare hairs, pretending she couldn’t feel his gaze.

Finished with his trim, she reached around to grab the cream and straight razor but lost her balance slightly as she maneuvered around him. Hvitserk’s hand gripped her by the back of her leg, steadying her gently with his palm. He kept it there as she leaned down to his face again and Brenna told herself that he was just making sure she had her footing. The only thing that she could feel was his touch and when he still didn’t move it, even as she began to shave his face, neither of them spoke of it.

“Brenna.”

“Hush. Keep still.”

Hvitserk made his mouth into a hard line, as if he was biting his tongue to keep quiet. Brenna carried on, shaving and rinsing his face, trying to concentrate all her energy on not nicking his skin. Finally she was done and began to rinse his face with the water from her bowl. She surprised him when instead of handing him the towel to wipe his own face like she normally did, she began to gently wipe his skin herself. She finally brought her eyes up to his but Hvitserk couldn’t understand the message in them.

“Brenna,” he spoke, his voice more hoarse now.

“Be quiet.”

“Brenna—-“ he repeated again but she cut him off once more with a harder look in her normally soft brown eyes

And then Hvitserk understood. Some things should never be spoken aloud.

She finally moved away leaving him unreasonably cold. He stood up after her but she was already holding the curtain open for him to exit her room. “Sleep well Hvitserk.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to Ceridwen of Wales for kindly beta reading.

“These look good don’t they?”

Brenna paused her bartering with the merchant for a moment to glance over at Hvitserk. He was eyeing the many exotic fruits lining the shelves of the market stall, every now and then picking up a piece and bringing it close to his face, as if he wanted to bite into it right then.

“We don’t need that. You have no idea if you would even enjoy any of it,” she replied, already turning back to the man in front of her. “Yes but I would still like to taste it.”

Brenna ignored the wink he sent her way as he flipped a coin up at the merchant before grabbing the yellowish fruit.

“It is very good my Prince,” the deeply tanned man spoke in a heavily accented tongue that sounded like a song to Brenna’s ears. “It is called a mango.”

“Mango.” Hvitserk repeated before putting the fruit in his pocket.

Brenna wanted to be agitated with Hvitserk’s antics but she found it impossible. She had come to the marketplace for a few necessary essentials but with Hvitserk by her side it had quickly turned into an exploration of whatever foreign and new thing he could find. She smiled at the merchant as she paid him for the spices. Hvitserk quickly led her by the elbow to another table.

“You should buy a new dress,” he nudged her towards a tiny elderly woman standing behind a display of silk garments. “Something beautiful. Like you.”

Brenna wanted to reprimand him but the stretch of his smile was so disarming and happy that she didn’t have the heart to. But she still turned her cheek away from the clothes, “I do not need a new dress.”

Hvitserk tried to reason with her with a shrug of his shoulder, “Maybe not. But I want to buy one for you.”

Shaking her head, Brenna began to walk away from the display, “You will buy me nothing Hvitserk.”

Her cold shoulder failed to damper his spirits as he quickly fell into stride beside her, laughing at her as she hurried along, “You know you are a Prince’s wife Brenna. You should have nice things.”

Brenna scoffed, “I am grateful for all the Gods have given me. I have a kind husband and a healthy son. That is all I need.”

Nodding along, Hvitserk could only walk in silence beside her, unable to come up with a fitting retort.

“My prince.”

The pair turned to the side at the voice. It was Gunilla, a shieldmaiden in Aslaug’s own guard. She was as fit and beautiful as ever with her cat like green eyes and intricately braided blonde hair. Gunilla stepped forward with grace, nodding shortly to Brenna.

“It has been too long since I have laid eyes upon you in the market Hvitserk,” Gunilla placed her slender hand on his forearm as her smile turned into a smirk. “Too long since you have been in my bed,” she whispered into his ear but loud enough for Brenna to hear.

Hvitserk couldn’t keep from glancing down at Brenna but her face was turned down politely, as if she felt she was invading something private. When she looked up again her smile was cheery and her voice was playful as she met his gaze. “I am going to go talk with the fishermen. I want to see if they have news of my uncle.”

She was already hurrying away before Hvitserk could stop her. He turned back to Gunilla, not hiding the annoyance in his voice. “What is it you want Gunilla?”

“Surely the same thing you want my Prince.” Her tone was more of a taunt now as she ran her finger up his neck. “I have not seen much of you. Have you missed me?” Hvitserk let her hand roam up to his cheek but he gave her a hard look. “I have been busy. You know this.”

The shieldmaiden snatched her hand away. “I know no such thing. Surely farming hasn’t occupied so much of your time,” she spat.

“Good day Gunilla.” Hvitserk started to turn from her scowling face but she was in front of him in an instant, the same focused gaze on her face he had seen her wear in battle.

“You know there has been talk in the village,” her voice was ice in the air. “They say you never come down from that house because you are too busy rutting balls deep into your brother’s wife.”

“I don’t have time for the gossip of women. And I am tiring of this conversation,” Hvitserk warned.

“Ah.” Gunilla breathed, “I bet it is true. You have always enjoyed your brother’s scraps.”

With dark eyes Hvitserk brought his face to hers, “I’m warning you Gunilla.”

She seemed please with his reaction, desperate to see him riled. Desperate to see anything but the man that had been following after Brenna like a lovesick boy. “Brenna has never fooled me either. She acts so sweet, like such a good little wife. But she is enjoying her plot in life now isn’t she? She is nothing more than a whore. Probably desperate to snatch up another son of Ragnar in case her husband never returns from the raids.”

His hand was around her throat in an instant, ignoring the looks of passerby as he choked the air from her windpipe, “Keep her name off your tongue. Or I will cut it out.”

Gunilla clutched at his hands but he could see the sick delight as she managed to gasp, “There is the man I know.”

With a final growl he released her, pushing her away from him violently. Hvitserk ignored her heavy breathing and broken laughter as he stomped away, pushing himself through the audience that had gathered.

————————————————————————-

 

As she had told him, Brenna was down at the docks talking rapidly with a fishing captain. Gunilla’s words echoed through his head as he felt the thrill run through his bones at the sight of her figure. She caught sight of him and smiled warmly, stopping his thoughts.

“I did not expect to see you so soon,” she looked to him curiously before nodding a farewell to the fishing captain.

“Come,” was all he said as he pulled her by the hand, urging her to follow him with a smile. She hurried behind him in confusion, clutching her purchases before he tucked them under his own arm.

When she saw he was headed to the western beach, away from the Hall, she pulled against him, making him slow down. “Where are we going? I really must be getting back to Aslaug and Raul now.”

“Raul is fine,” he assured her before pulling her along again. “Come.”

He held her hand, urging her forward, until his eyes caught sight of the secluded beach and they could hardly hear the bustle of Kattegat. Hvitserk found a dry patch of grass facing the water and settled onto it, tugging Brenna down to sit beside him. He left his fingers intertwined with hers as he used his other hand to pull the fruit out of his pocket.

“Mango?”

Brenna chuckled at him as he took a large bite of the fruit before presenting it to her.

“S’good,” he assured her.

She narrowed her eyes at the foreign food but granted him a small, if unsure smile. He brought it closer to her face, urging her to take a bite. “Just a taste.”

As if she had given in, Brenna leaned in slightly, closing her eyes, to take a small bite. Hvitserk watched her intently as juice spilled down her chin from the succulent fruit causing her to bring her hands up in embarrassment.

“It’s very sweet!” She uttered in surprise, her eyes wide.

Bringing the mango back up his own mouth, Hvitserk smiled inwardly as he took another large bite, pleased with his success.

“I told you,” his voice was low as he wiped a bit of the juice from her chin with his thumb.

Brenna finally withdrew her hand from his to wipe at her face herself, avoiding his lingering eyes before bringing her gaze to the water. “We really should be getting back,” she finally spoke aloud but made no move to stand up.

Hvitserk grunted from where he had stretched out, “If you wish—-“ he started but was cut off by the sound of horns blowing from afar.

Brenna jumped up in an instant, pointing in the distance, “Hvitserk! Boats!”

They could barely make them out but there was no doubt longboats rowing quickly towards Kattegat’s shores. Her feet were almost submerged in the water as she ran forward, squinting hard, “Is it our boats? Is it Ubbe?”

“It’s too soon to be our boats. Over a moon too soon,” Hvitserk mumbled.

But as the boats came closer, their colors became more visible. “Its them! It’s Ubbe!” Brenna shouted darting back to the market, not waiting for Hvitserk to catch up.

He chased after her but his eyes found the incoming boats again. _Something’s not right._ They ran through the market, Brenna hiking her skirts up and Hvitserk on her heels. She only stopped for a moment, to tell a familiar thrall to retrieve her son and bring him to the docks. His father had returned.

"Why are there so few boats?" Brenna's words hitched in her throat as she studied the returning party, much smaller now than when they had left. "Where are the rest?"

"Do not worry. I'm sure Ubbe is on one of them." But his words sounded strange to his own ears.

They waited there at the front of the crowd and soon Aslaug was beside them, the same thrall carying Raul at her side.

"Verk! Verk!" The boy reached towards his uncle but Brenna was already scooping her son into her arms.

"Father is home."

Aslaug was rigid beside them, muttering indecipherable words quickly under her breath. The boats were close now, the first one docking into the harbor. Ubbe was not on it.

"Father is home," Brenna repeated as she stroked the toddler's hair, no longer looking at the sea.

"My son!" Aslaug exclaimed beside her and Brenna looked up, wide eyes searching.

It was Ivar. He was being helped from the longboat before steadying himself on his crutches. And then it was Sigurd, being pulled after him on a makeshift bed. Brenna ran down the pier, looking among the so many injured that were now evident. She reached Ivar quickly, her heart in her throat as she stood before him.

"Where is Ubbe?"

Ivar ignored her as he slowly made his way around her, crutches clanking on the wooden boards.

"IVAR!" she grabbed his arm in her fury but his strength surprised her as he ripped it away from her. "I beg of you, where is my husband?!"

He finally looked at her now and his cold facade gave away to something else for a moment. She thought it might be pity. "He has fallen," he turned away from her stricken form but his voice held a little more warmth as he added, "He fought like a Viking. He feasts in Valhalla now."

Brenna's legs might have given out if her anger and denial hadn't kept her chasing after Ivar. "Liar! Why are you lying?! Where is my husband?"

Aslaug was reaching for Ivar now but he turned from his mother with a roar, eyes brimming with their own sadness, "HE IS DEAD!" He turned to Hvitserk now who was white as a ghost. "The English ambushed us with an army. They slaughtered half our people. Ubbe--"

Brenna's anger had turned into desperate sobs as she clung to Raul. She felt hands trying to comfort her but she shoved them away in an instant.

"DO NOT TOUCH ME!"

Hvitserk backed away, shocked and hurt, as Raul began to wail, confused by his mother's emotions.

"I am so sorry. I'm sorry my son." she cried into him before gently guiding him to the ground.

\-----------------------------------------------------

_Sigurd and Hvitserk were taking turns throwing jabs at their older brother as they guided Brenna and Ubbe up the trail, Ivar crawling behind them. The wedding feast had finally ended and they were now guiding the new wife and husband to their door by torch light, as was the custom. They were careful to keep their path lit the entire way, to ensure a successful marriage, though Hvitserk kept acting as though he was going to blow his torch out._

_"Do as you must brother," Ubbe finally told him, ignoring his joke. "There is nothing that could be done, ritual or otherwise, that could taint my marriage." He smiled down at Brenna as he squeezed her hand._

_She looked up at him with a happy curve to her lips, the light of the torches glowing on her skin, and he couldn't help from sweeping her into a kiss. The brothers had to turn around and wait for the couple as Ubbe clutched her close, lifting her completely off her feet._

_"Ah brother, save it for the marriage bed."_

_Ubbe finally set his new wife back down to her feet, straightening the crown of flowers on her head. "Let us hurry then," he winked._

_The group continued until they were standing outside their door and then Ubbe was guiding her over the threshold, making certain she would not trip._

_"You can leave now brothers," His lips were already at Brenna's neck as she giggled nervously, trying to stop him until they left._

_Ivar was already turning away and Sigurd smiled warmly at Brenna, "Congratulations sister."_

_Hvitserk added in his good wishes as he quickly kissed the top of Brenna's head and smacked his brother's shoulder. "Send for me if you need any help."_

_"Leave Hvitserk."_

_Ubbe's eyes were glued to Brenna again and when his brother finally shut the door behind him he scooped her into his arms. "Finally." He captured her mouth with his as he laid her gently on the bed. "I have been waiting all day for you. Wife."_

_"Well now we have the rest of our lives. Husband."_

Ubbe could barely distinguish his memories from reality now as they drug him into another dark cell. He had no idea how many places he had been thrown in or how many days had passed.Everything was painted in shades of darkness. Dark cages, dark dungeons. Dark skies. He didn't know why he was still alive but he knew better than to believe it was an act of mercy.

He had survived his wounds but the infection had left him delirious for weeks, drifting in and out of dreams. But now as he laid on the cold stone floor, listening to the the leaking of water and squeaking of rats, he wished to get lost in his dreams again.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to Ceridwen of Wales for beta reading and just being awesome in general.

_The sound of wood striking wood filled Hvitserk’s ears and he tried with all his might to push back on his older brother’s latest blow. He was quick but Ubbe was older and stronger. His brother shot him a grin at his block and lowered his own oak sword, knocking Hvitserk's away._

_Ubbe's cocky smile renewed the younger brother's lithe limbs with vigor and he surprised his sparring partner by throwing a wild strike at his chest which Ubbe only barely blocked. The shock of a stronger hit than he was expecting unsteadied the older boy's feet, causing him to stumble and fall backward into the grass. Hvitserk was on him in a second, scuffling to sit on his chest and disarm him of his weapon._

_Ubbe let out a loud laugh as he used_ Hvitserk’s _advantageous position against him, bringing his knee up to the center of his back, sending the smaller boy flying over his head. The elder Ragnarsson was on his feet in an instant and he quickly brought his boot down on his brother’s chest as he pointed the small sword in his face. Hvitserk let out a groan of defeat._

_“Good one brother!” Ubbe boomed and Hvitserk could hear the gravelly crack in his voice, just beginning to take on an uncertain deepness of a man’s tone._

_Hvitserk eyed the helping hand that Ubbe thrust down at him. He let out a quiet grumble but allowed Ubbe to lift him to his feet, shoving him away when his brother gave him a pat on the back and an agreeable grin._

_“Boys!”_

_Both youths snapped their head up in the direction of their father’s deep voice, booming and pleased._

_“I have been searching for you.” Ragnar stepped forward into the clearing, wearing the slightly twisted grin that his sons knew well._

_“Father,” Ubbe nodded toward him as he stood straighter. Hvitserk remained quiet but looked up at Ragnar attentively._

_Ragnar cocked a curious eyebrow at the wooden swords that lay discarded on the ground. “Training?”_

_“_ Yes _Father.”_

_Ragnar picked one of the swords up, twirling it in his fingers. “You are too old for these.”_

_“Mother says we are too young—“_

_The older man’s eyes seemed to roll back into his head as he let out a groan. “Your Mother always has a lot to say, doesn’t she?”_

_Hvitserk could not keep the chuckle from escaping his lips and Ubbe broke into his own sheepish smile as he shrugged, “Yes Father.”_

_“She is…your mother. But I am your father,” Ragnar turned to his youngest son with a wink that made Hvitserk eagerly grin back. “And I am King.” Ragnar tossed the toy to the ground in his funny way, like a joke. “You are my sons and I won’t have my sons running around playing with toys any longer. You will both be great men one day and every great man…” he reached into his fine fur cloak and retrieved two small axes, “needs some iron.”_

_The boys eyed the axes excitedly as Ragnar handed them over. Hvitserk ran his fingertips appreciatively over the smooth and polished wood, the single-edged blade glinting in the sun. It was obvious they were finely crafted, the heads decorated with inlays of elaborate designs and the haft reinforced with metal._

_“Thank you, Father.”_

_“Thank you_ Father _,” Hvitserk mumbled after Ubbe, his eyes still transfixed on the blade in his hand._

_Ragnar’s smile was genuine now and he brought them both into his sides. “You boys are growing. It pleases me to see my sons turning into strong men. But be careful with those. They are not toys and they come with real consequences. That is the worst part about leaving behind your childhood. Everything you do has an effect, be it good or bad. You have to be calculated in your choices, there is no room for recklessness.” Ragnar dropped his serious tone for a bit as he ruffled Hvitserk’s copper-colored hair, “Well maybe a little recklessness.”_

_The boys nodded up to their father to show that they understood._ Hvitserk’s _was already aching to throw his_ axe _at a nearby tree and, as if Ragnar could see it in his eyes, he shoved his sons away with an affectionate push._

_“And don’t tell your mother!”_

Hvitserk faced away from Sigurd and Ivar, staring blankly out the window. He almost smiled when he thought of how that same day Ragnar had gifted them with the axes, Ubbe had slashed a long cut across his abdomen. Hvitserk still had the thin scar and he absentmindedly traced his finger over the clothing that concealed it.

Sigurd was sitting upright now and Hvitserk had been relieved to find that his injury was not grave, that he would not die. He tried to not think the other thought that had danced in his mind. That a part of him, the majority of his soul, would rather Ubbe be there in his place. That Ubbe would have a bloody wound on his thigh and Sigurd would be the one who died across the sea. He was sure Ivar had probably already spoken the words aloud.

The room was almost as dark as the mood now and none of the brothers cared to order a thrall to give the room more light. Their mother had gone to bed early and Hvitserk had been shocked at how evident and deep and pure the pain was on her face. He had thought she only loved Ivar. He was wrong. So they sat there in the darkening hall, the three surviving brothers of Aslaug and Ragnar, and Hvitserk did not think they looked so mighty now. Not now that the eldest was absent.

“Poor Brenna.” Sigurd finally sighed.

Hvitserk’s eyes shot up to his brothers at the sound of her name.

Ivar’s face remained emotionless as he shrugged. “She will be fine. She will inherit all Ubbe’s properties and I am sure Aslaug will make sure that her grandson is taken care of. She will have esteem simply for being Ubbe’s widow. Even with him dead, she is still far better off than she was before they married.”

Hvitserk slammed down his cup of ale, almost startling his brothers after he had been so quiet. Ivar raised his eyebrows at the harsh look he sent him.

“Ivar,” he growled.

“What?”

He didn’t answer him, just let his hardened gaze slide over him for a moment before looking away in a sort of disgust. Ivar didn’t hate Brenna but he had never loved her like the other brothers had. She was a nobody from nowhere, not a princess like his mother or even a warrior like Lagertha. The eldest prince should be conquering and carrying on a legacy but she swept him away, filled his mind with happiness and simple dreams.

“I am going to check on her,” Hvitserk finally mumbled as he rose, having to steady himself from all the mead they had consumed.

“I don’t think she wants anyone around,” Ivar said cooly.

Brenna had refused to be comforted, especially by Hvitserk it seemed. She wouldn’t accept the help of a thrall or an offer of a calming concoction.

_My husband had nothing to ease the pain while he was dying over the sea. Why should I?_ Those were her last words before taking Raul home. Hvitserk wanted to follow but knew he couldn’t.

“I will go with you,” Sigurd made to stand up as well but Hvitserk clapped his hand on his shoulder.

“You should rest brother. The walk is too long for you.” Without waiting for a response Hvitserk threw on his cloak and walked into the night.

——————————————————

After Brenna didn’t come to the door at the third knock, Hvitserk started to pound harder, no longer worrying about waking a sleeping Raul. Panic started to creep through him as he banged on the thick wood. He had sworn never to leave her alone after she was attacked; now it would be his fault if something had happened.

“Brenna!”

He slammed his hand into the door a final time before walking briskly to the back of the property. He let out a breath when he found her sitting there, perched on a bench against the west side of the house. She didn’t look up when he approached, seemingly oblivious to everything around her.

“Brenna what are you doing? You’re going to freeze,” he spoke softly as he took in her shivering frame, wearing only her thin dress from earlier. Her hair was down and loose, billowing in the wind as the first flutters of snow decorated it with small flakes. He threw his arm over her, shielding her in his own furs. “Let’s go inside.”

Brenna tilted her head up to the sky, eyes on the light snow swirling around them, the first one of the season. “I was looking forward to the snow. It would mean Ubbe would be coming back soon. Now it means nothing. It brings nothing.”

Hvitserk shifted uncomfortably, no words on his lips that might help.

“He promised he would come back,” Brenna continued and Hvitserk understood that she didn’t care for a response, that she was speaking more to the sky than him. “It was stupid of me to believe that he had any say in the matter. That our love was so strong that not even the gods could take him away so early. I thought our fates were so intertwined that the rest of my days would be filled with him by my side.” She laughed bitterly. “Such stupid childish thoughts.

“Come. Let’s go inside.”

Brenna ignored him but her eyebrows furrowed a bit, her face still tilted upwards. “Is his body rotting somewhere? Being torn apart by animals? Picked apart by the crows?”

“No Brenna.” Hvitserk stood up abruptly bringing her to her feet with him. His own stomach was suddenly sick. “The Saxons burned the dead on the battlefield. His body is no more but it is not being disrespected.”

She hummed something in response but Hvitserk couldn’t make it out as he guided her to the house. He didn’t have to force her, her feet moved beneath her, but it was trance-like steps with no meaning or destination.

He pulled her through the unlocked back door, glad to see that the hearth was blazing. Grabbing her hands, he tried to rub them quickly together in front of the fire but the light of the house seemed to awaken her and she jerked away from his touch. Still, he was glad that she at least crouched down in front of the flames of her own accord.

“I am not a child. You do not have to watch over me like one.”

“If you had stayed out there much longer you would have been feverish by morning. And that helps no one, least of all Raul.” Hvitserk retorted but his next words were soft. “I am always here for you. You know that.”

A painful silence laid between them and Brenna’s next words sounded stiff and formal to Hvitserk. “Thank you. But you have fulfilled your duty. And now my husband is dead and you can return to your own life.” She glanced over her shoulder as she stood to busy herself with a pile of linens on the table. “I’m very grateful.”

“Duty?” Hvitserk asked in confusion. “It's not about duty. I want to be here for you. We are still family, no matter the conditions. I want to be here for you.”

Brenna finally turned to face him, meeting his eyes with a sure steadiness. “I do not want you here,” Brenna spoke slowly, every word leaping from her lips in a careful and calculated stab at Hvitserk’s heart.

He could barely recognize her now, the edge to her features so unlike how he usually saw her, so soft and welcoming. He could see that she didn’t care about hurting him right now. Quite the opposite, she wanted to injure him, drive him away. His voice came out more quietly than he had planned as he turned his gaze to the floor, suddenly uncertain of everything. “I just want to make sure that you are okay. I don’t feel right about leaving you to deal with this alone. He was my brother. I loved him more than anyone. I’m here if—“

“I don’t want you here!”

With a step forward Brenna drove him back and Hvitserk didn’t miss how absurd it felt. He made one more desperate move to stand his ground, his eyes wide with a silent plea. “I can’t imagine what you are feeling. But I want—“

Her hands were slamming into his chest in an instant, pushing him backward, and he felt the sting of her slaps but it wasn’t a physical pain.

“Get out! Get out!”

He let her force him roughly towards the door, her words turning into sobs as her hands grew weaker. Her anger was dissipating but he preferred her unbridled fury far more than the broken look he saw as she gave him a final shove.

“Leave.” She was begging instead of demanding now, her broken voice drawing out the single word.

And so with a final look at her wet face and shaking fists, he obeyed.

———————-

The weather turned harsh after that first snow. The soft flutters of winter turned quickly into an icy storm, premature in its season. Everything froze. The single tear on Brenna’s face, a face of strength otherwise, as they buried a small ship with belongings in honor of Ubbe. The ground beneath Hvitserk’s feet as he walked aimlessly through Kattegat, not ready to visit the rune stone they placed in honor of his older brother. Everything froze. Everything except time.

Hvitserk was shaking the ice from his long braids when he heard the familiar, bubbly laughter of his nephew. He hadn’t seen the toddler since the honorary funeral for Ubbe, weeks before. He hadn’t dared to speak a word to Brenna but his eyes had often searched her face that day. She had acknowledged no one but the small boy tugging on her hand, too young to understand.

“Raul!” He boomed as the child took notice of him. Hvitserk’s eyes didn’t miss how fast he could run on his little legs now, no longer so unsteady.

“Verk!”

Hvitserk crouched beside Raul before bringing him to sit on his knee. “You are growing as tall as a tree! I think you are part giant. Are you part giant? A descendant of Ymir?”

Raul giggled happily as he nodded his head. He nestled himself into Hvitserk’s warmth, small body giddy with excitement. Hvitserk squeezed his nephew and finally looked up. His eyes searched the room but all he found was his mother, eyeing them with a small smile.

“Brenna brought him a short while ago. Said she had things to take care of,” Aslaug answered the question he hadn’t dared to ask. “I tried to send for you.”

“What things?”

The Queen shrugged as she took a sip out of her silver goblet. “I didn’t dare ask. I was just happy to see my grandson. He looks so much like Ubbe did when he was a child.”

“I didn’t see her in the village.”

Aslaug took a moment to study her son. “I believe she went back to her house.”

Hvitserk didn’t respond as he turned back to Raul. The child showed him the wooden toy he was holding and Hvitserk looked at it in dramatized interest before setting the boy down and squeezing his shoulder. “I will be back.”

————————————-

It seemed foolish to make the walk up the hill again, knowing he was uninvited. Hvitserk could still hear her words ringing through his head as his feet stomped through the blanket of snow and ice.

_I do not want you here._

He told himself he wasn’t being selfish. Ubbe wanted him to look after Brenna. He wouldn’t want her to be alone right now.

He was almost there when he caught sight of a small man leading five goats by a rope.

“My Prince,” the man bowed his head in respect as he met Hvitserk on the trail.

The axe was in his hand before he could stop himself. “What are you doing with these animals?” He spat as he approached the man threateningly.

“The lady sold them to me! Please, my prince! I bought them, I swear it!”

Hvitserk surveyed the goats in confusion, his body still looming menacingly over the shaking farmer. It was not uncommon to sell one or two but this was all of them. Brenna’s favorite nanny stood at the front, looking him with her unfocused wide set eyes.

“Go,” Hvitserk breathed not bothering to apologize.

When he reached the cabin he banged on the door hard and brief before barging in, not willing to wait for an answer this time.

“Hvitserk! What on earth?!” Brenna shrieked, dropping the bundles in her hand as he shut the door behind him quickly.

He was thankful she was obviously not harmed but his eyes fell on the disarray of the house that seemed to be half packed away.

“I saw the man and I…what are you doing Brenna?”

Brenna gave him an indignant look as she reached for the things that had fallen to the floor. “You can’t just barge in here Hvitserk!”

“Are you leaving?” His heart dropped when her face softened slightly and he saw the truth in her expression.

“I’m going to my Uncle’s.”

Hvitserk’s mouth felt dry and for a moment the words got lost on his lips. “For how long?”

She was the old Brenna, the one he knew, as her wide eyes glanced away and her plump lips twitched downward. “There is nothing for us here now. I’m not from Kattegat and now that Ubbe is gone…it will never be home.”

Brenna had softened but Hvitserk could feel himself hardening, his desperation making him almost angry. “So you will take Raul away from the only family he has ever known?! What about my mother?”

“I am his family!” Brenna’s face was guarded again as she took a quick step forward, reminding Hvitserk of how she drove him away last time.

“You may not have been born here but Raul was. This is his home!” His breath was catching quickly and he tried to keep from pleading as he continued. “If you are worried about not being able to handle the farm on your own, I am sure Mother will gift you thralls.”

Brenna sighed in frustration. “Why do you care so much Hvitserk?”

His expression was pained and he bowed his head slightly now, refusing to let her look away. “You know why.”

Brenna’s mouth parted slightly, surprised by the sudden intensity between them. She looked vulnerable then and she shot him a warning look.

“You know why,” he repeated as he took a step forward deftly grabbing her wrists in his hands easily.

She shook her head, almost like she was trying to knock his words away, but he couldn't allow her to this time. He was inches away from her, begging her not to look away, wondering if she could hear the sound of his heart pounding quickly in his chest. His breath fanned over her face as he let out a desperate whisper, “You know why.”

He let go of Brenna’s wrists to weave his hands through the soft waves of her long brown hair. Her scent was all around him as he pressed his forehead down to hers, letting his fingers drift down to the porcelain skin of her cheeks. He wanted to tell her how he ached for her in a way he had never ached for a woman before. It was a longing that went far beyond desire, an urge to protect and hold her and know her.

He tried to tell her that silently as he stared into her still wide eyes. And then he tried to tell her with his lips as he grazed them over hers, slowly and patiently. She opened her mouth slightly and Hvitserk could hear her breath, heavy and quick, before tasting him tentatively. With shaky hands, Brenna lifted her hands to his shoulder, pulling him closer.Hvitserk’s hands went to her waist and Brenna let him pull her flush against his hips, even as she pulled her face from his.

“I miss him so much Hvitserk.” Tears streamed down her red cheeks as she looked up at him.

“I know. I do too.”

And then she was gripping him even tighter than before, so close Hvitserk could feel the teardrops on her lashes and the heaving of her breasts against him, and she kissed him hard, desperate to feel anything besides the quiet agony and deafening emptiness.


	8. Chapter 8

Her lips were harsh and desperate on his now, so forceful he had to plant his feet to keep from being drove into the wall. Hvitserk welcomed her sudden passion with his own as he swept her completely into his arms. She felt small now in his tight embrace and he found himself unable to keep from grasping hungrily at her curves, gripping the body that he had coveted for so long now.

Brenna’s body melded even closer to his, her warmth pressing against his hot torso, and she arched her back so that he could keep kissing her. Hvitserk slid his hands lower, grazing the curve of her ass before gripping her thighs firmly and hoisting her up until their faces were even. He tried to pull back for a moment, just to study her face, but her hands jerked him back just as quickly.

“Brenna,” he breathed into her mouth.

She ignored him as her fingertips traced from the back of his neck to his chest and then down to his stomach. She lowered one of her legs so that she was resting on the tips of her toes while she started to tug the shirt away. Her lips didn’t break from his except for the brief moment that she pulled the cloth up over his head.

The wildness of Brenna’s movements surprised him and he barely registered the sound of a dish breaking on the floor as they haphazardly pushed each other through the house. His brain was wanting to completely shut off, give in to the passion that he had craved for so long. But this was never how he imagined it. He felt his knees hit the back of her fur-covered bed and he repeated her name, firmer this time.

“Brenna. Brenna wait.”

Brenna gave no indication that she heard him, as if lost in her own fervor. Her amber colored eyes were burning as she finally took a small step back, pulling the wide neck of her gown down a bit, exposing the bare skin of her shoulders in the candlelight. Hvitserk’s breath caught in his throat, along with any other words he was trying to speak, and he watched in wonder, almost sick with desire, as she pulled the dress to her waist. He didn’t even think before reaching for her again, pulling her close to him and skimming his hands across her naked skin.

Her breasts were full and heavy in his hands, just as he always imagined they would be. The burning lust had spread from his gut to his crotch and he tried to keep his lips gentle as he tasted the salty tears on her cheek. The rough pads of his fingers grazed her hardened nipples and with a gasp, Brenna was driving him backwards again.

Hvitserk’s back collided hard with the bed and Brenna fell with him. When he spoke her name once more, it was more a groan than a plea to slow. All he could process was the feeling of her skin against his and the way his erection pressed tight to his pants as she kissed down his chest.

“Brenna, slow down.” His voice was little more than a whisper in the air. He grasped her hips with slightly harsh hands as she brought her face to his again, her body rocking against him. “Brenna…”

It was only when Brenna’s hand drifted down to cup the obvious bulge in his trousers that Hvitserk snapped out of his haze. He flipped her over suddenly so that he was hovering over her, pinning her down by her sides. “Stop.”

A flurry of emotions flitted across her face. Shock followed quickly by indignation and then replaced with confusion. Finally, embarrassment cast her eyes down and hurt tugged her mouth into a small frown. “You don’t want me?”

She moved as though she wanted to curl into herself, retreat from under him, but Hvitserk didn’t relinquish his hold. “Of course I do Brenna. In Odin’s name, you have no idea,” he tried to reassure her with a dark chuckle.

Brenna squirmed beneath him, suddenly wanting to pull up the dress that was gathered around her hips. “Is it my body? I thought you found me attractive-“

“Gods, Brenna,” Hvitserk interrupted, dipping his nose to the valley of her breasts. He ghosted his lips down to the soft flesh of her lower stomach and planted a tender kiss just below her belly button. “You have no idea how hard this is…to stop myself,” he mouthed against her skin, the light hairs on his cheek tickling her hip, before lifting his head to meet her eyes again. “But I don’t want you to do anything you might regret in the morning. I want you so badly but I know you are—“

“Regret?” Brenna’s brows twisted in confusion. “Of course I will regret it.”

Hvitserk’s wounded expression made Brenna’s own stomach ache with something but she sat up just a bit, so close their noses nearly brushed. “I will feel regret and loneliness and sadness and anger all over again in the morning. I’ve been drowning in it, Hvitserk. But I want to feel something else right now, if only for a little while. Just make me feel something else. Please.”

Apart from a subtle flashing in his eyes as he searched her face, Hvitserk gave no hint as to what he was thinking, what he was deciding, for a long moment. And then, so quick it made Brenna jump, his mouth was crashing into her, savagely parting her lips so he could claim a deep kiss. His hands were everywhere, roaming unrestrained until one pulled her head down to lay flat. He held her down with a single hand, fingers lost in her hair as his thumb rested on her jawbone, while he grasped her dress with the other. Brenna felt the thin fabric straining at her wide hips and then heard the rip as it gave way from Hvitserk’s impatient tugs. She moaned into his mouth at the feeling of finally being completely bare under his firm body.

The double thump of discarded boots hitting the floor was drowned out by Hvitserk’s frantic breathing in her ear as he quit kissing her just long enough to fumble with the ties of his trousers. Brenna helped him slide the pants down as best she could, releasing his cock that fell heavy on her thigh.

He had no time to think, no time to worship and explore her body as he might have envisioned. Brenna’s hand wraps boldly around his length and Hvitserk hears a growl escape his lips. Everything is suddenly very primal.

Hvitserk’s fingers find her, warm and wet, and he’s surprised at his own indelicacy as he strokes her heat roughly before dipping one inside. Leaning his forehead to rest against hers, he feels an overwhelming urge to tell her he loves her. But he knows better so he pumped her hard a couple times to see her arch her back, her hand leaving his cock to wrap around to his shoulder blade.

“Hvitserk,” Brenna whined as his fingers left her but were quickly replaced by the head of his cock.

The stretch was familiar yet foreign to Brenna. Her body quickly welcomed his girth as he pressed in with a strangled moan but her stomach lurched at the thought of being penetrated by someone other than the man she had given her maidenhood to. Brenna’s eyelids fluttered shut as Hvitserk sank deeper within her but she could still feel him sucking in ragged breaths above her. She felt more alive than she had in weeks and it was almost more than she could bare.

Just when she thought she couldn’t take much more, their hips met. Hvitserk was still for a moment as he steadied himself, bringing a trembling hand to wipe damp strands from her cheek. Brenna’s eyes were still closed as she bucked back at him, eliciting a surprised cry from Hvitserk as he reflexively returned her movements.

Lust had finally completely taken over Hvitserk and every thrust he put forth was aimed at going as deeply as possible. His pushes weren’t fast but they were hard and meaningful and Brenna’s nails left ragged marks on his back as she rolled her hips along with him.

She hadn’t given herself much time to feel shame, even as she had laid naked in front of her brother-in-law , but she did as she felt the ripples of ecstasy begin to run through her body. Shame that she was capable of feeling this pleasure still and worse shame that it was coming so easily. Her ankle hooked around Hvitserk’s hip and she tried to pull him in even deeper, so deep it ached and made her sob fervidly through gritted teeth.

“Open your eyes…please,” Hvitserk panted, struggling to keep his voice clear. Brenna was teetering on the edge of her climax and she knew when she looked up at him and saw the lost look in his murky eyes and the way his mouth hung open as if he was in a type of pain, that he was too.

Just as the intensity of Hvitserk’s stare was beginning to be too much, he brought his open mouth to hers, stifling the uninhibited whimpers that had begun to spill from her lips. His arms wrapped around her fully, pulling her up into him, against his chest and slightly off the bed. The sharp lunges of Hvitserk’s body into hers was jarring; any softness and tenderness had fallen away, leaving only a raw and throbbing need.

They clung to each other, sweating and frenzied, and when Brenna felt herself go over the edge, she dragged Hvitserk along with her. She cried out against his forceful tongue as she writhed and twisted out of sheer delirium. His hips stuttered and his movements finally stilled and he released her mouth, desperate to catch his own breath. Lowering his flushed cheek to her breast, Hvitserk rested his head, unable and unwilling to move.

Hesitation held Brenna’s hand in midair for a moment, dangling just a breath above Hvitserk’s disheveled braids. She tentatively laid her hand atop his head, feeling undeniably connected to him at that moment, before running her fingers through the silky strands. He let out a content sigh as her fingers lightly scratched his scalp and let her continue for a minute more before moving away to lay beside her.

Brenna was no longer surprised by the intimacy behind his eyes as he brought his face level to hers but she was surprised by her own choice to return it. He looked relieved then, his smile small and contained, as if he had believed she might push him away, out of her bed. He clutched Brenna to him, draping his arm over her as he pressed her against his chest. She only thought about pulling away for a moment, turning her back to him and scooting to the far side of the bed. She couldn’t find the will to do it though and instead found herself burrowing into Hvitserk’s chest as she closed her eyes, thankful that for the first time in months, she wasn’t falling asleep alone.


	9. Chapter 9

Ubbe wasn’t sure if he was awake, not really.

The tiny cell was pitch-black except for a thin sliver of light that shone from a lone crack in the wall. And still, rather than illuminating the cheerless dungeon, it cast an eerie otherworldly haze on what little he could see. _How long had he been there? Was he asleep? Was he even alive?_

“Prisoner! Rise!”

It was the first time since the battle that anyone had addressed him directly. He could heard them talk of him while he slipped in and out of consciousness, dragged across the ground with little tenderness or regard for his wounds. They wondered aloud what use the “heathen” was. It seemed not even his captors knew what was to become of him.

The guard’s sharp order stirred a bit of fierceness in the prince’s weakened limbs. Ubbe ignored the ache in his half-healed wound to strand straight and spiteful, grunting when his jailor yanked him by his chains.

“Walk!”

Ubbe only moved when impatient hands pushed him forward so roughly he almost fell to his knees. He caught himself and shot a growl at the stinking man before allowing himself to be ordered ahead, walking as proudly as possible under the circumstances. Resisting the urge to ask questions, Ubbe kept quiet as he was led out of what he now realized to be a tower.

The outside air stank of sweat and hinted of something rotting. It was obvious that the Saxons’ filth extended past their rat infested prison cells. Curious eyes of peasants watched as Ubbe was led across the muddy courtyard towards another great stone building. He ignored them in favor of focusing on not losing his footing as he sank past his ankles in mud and hay and shit. If he was being led to his death then he would die like a true son of Ragnar, descendant of Odin.

***

Brenna’s breath was thick and visible in the frigid midwinter air, heavy and rapid as her frozen fingers hurriedly fixed a cover on her only horse. “Settle down, settle down,” she murmured quietly to the mare, trying to soothe its snorting and stomping. Her mind drifted to Hvitserk and his odd affinity with horses before she could stop herself.

Brenna hadn’t seen him since their night together; he had been gone before she woke. She understood, even as she felt like sobbing in the cold and unbearably empty sheets. She had made it clear to him what they were, a distraction, a way to cope. She imagined that he believed he wasn’t really wanted there, that he was respecting her space. But still, she would wake some mornings to find fresh salted meat at her door. A tiny fur for Raul. The beautiful dress from the market. And she would look desperately from side to side, as if she could catch Hvitserk in the shadows. But he was never there.

Brenna finished securing the blanket and gave the chestnut-colored horse a final pat before turning away. The mare had been a present from Ubbe during their first days of marriage but she had never taken to riding on her own. Now the animal just felt like another reminder of a life that was gone forever. She wrapped her heavy cloak tightly around her shoulders as she exited the barn. The winter was becoming a fierce one and it was the first one she had spent on her own. She and Raul were completely alone and it filled her with a solemn ache but at the same time, the thought of being around people was unthinkable. And so, despite her plans, she had stayed in Kattegat, locked away in her own solitude.

Lost in her thoughts, Brenna didn’t see the gnarled tree root barely protruding from the deep snow and the toe of her boot collided with it painfully, sending her tumbling forward with a yelp. Anger boiled under Brenna’s skin as she clutched her throbbing foot. The hurt seemed all the more unjustified as her eyes stung with unspilled tears. Why did she deserve this? _Hadn’t she felt enough pain by now?_

“Curse you Odin!” She shouted abruptly as she slammed her palm in the snow. “Curse you for taking my husband to Valhalla!” Her voice broke into a quiet sob as her hot tears began to flow freely. “He belonged to me. He was mine.”

“Brenna?”

Brenna jerked her head up to see Hvitserk standing just outside the tree line, his bow slung over his shoulders. His thick brows were knit together in concern as he began to walk towards her but halted when she let out a harsh laugh.

“Here to save me again, Hvitserk?” Brenna’s words fell off her tongue bitterly as she looked down to her lap. “Haven’t you gotten tired of taking care of me yet? I know I am tired of being pitied.” She was also tired of crying. Tired of her emotions being so volatile that she scared even herself.

“I am not here because I pity you,” Hvitserk sighed before approaching Brenna again, more confident in his movements now. He crouched down to her level, forcing her to meet his eyes. “I am here because I care for you.”

Brenna didn’t respond for a moment, only looked back to her hands as a flustered blush crept across her neck. “You left that morning. Without a word,” she finally spoke in a quiet tone.

“Yes.”

“Why?” She snapped back, a fierceness in her gaze that Hvitserk was beginning to be familiar with. “So I wouldn’t have to hear you tell me to leave.”

Hvitserk slowly stood, offering his hand to Brenna who quietly accepted it.

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled, not yet pulling her own hand away from his forearm.

He let out a chuckle and Brenna could hear no bitterness in it. “Don’t be. Now go inside before you catch a sickness.”

“Don’t leave,” she blurted out before she could think twice. “I know Raul would be happy to see you. He’s sleeping now but I need to wake him.”

Hvitserk gave a small, almost shy smile that made Brenna’s heart beat faster against her will. “Okay.”

The short walk to her front door was silent, punctuated only by Hvitserk gently guiding her across the threshold with his palm on her lower back. The house was warm with the lit fire and Hvitserk could make out Raul’s sleeping form through another doorway.

“How is he doing?” Hvitserk asked, breaking the quiet.

“Good,” Brenna nodded as she turned to nurse the crackling fire. “He’s asked about you.”

The middle Ragnarsson couldn’t hide his small, proud smile at her words. “Was his fur too long?”

“No, it is perfect for him. You really shouldn’t have…and the dress..”

Hvitserk cleared his throat almost awkwardly, looking sheepish. “I only intended on making sure you had enough for the winter. But I couldn’t resist…I know I probably shouldn’t have…”

Brenna turned, placing her hand lightly on his cheek, surprising them both. “Thank you.”

They were completely still for one long moment, Hvitserk standing still and careful, as if worried he might spook a wild animal. Finally, throwing all caution to the wind, he relaxed and leaned into her touch, placing his hand over her smaller one. “Do you regret it?”

There was no need to pretend as if she didn’t know what he was referring to. Brenna held his gaze and whispered back, “No.”

The two leaned towards each other at the same time, their lips coming together softly and peacefully, so different than their first kiss. Hvitserk lifted his hand from hers and placed both palms on either side of her face, cradling her to him. Brenna did the same, her touch as gentle and sweet as his. After a long stretch, she pulled away, an apology in her eyes.

“I’m broken, Hvitserk.”

His eyes squinted in understanding and sympathy. “But you will heal,” he comforted.

“Will I? I pledged my soul to him, Hvitserk. And every time you touch me…and I forget him for a moment…it feels like a betrayal. My very happiness feels like a betrayal to his memory.”

Hvitserk smoothed a few wild hairs from her face as his eyes left her, his gaze going distant as he tried to find his own words. “Don’t you think Ubbe would want you to be happy?” he mused to himself. “You are young. This isn’t the end of your life. You deserve to find happiness and…”

“Hvitserk…”

He kept speaking, ignoring her weak protest and looking back at her with fresh determination in his eyes. “Raul needs you to be happy. You will always mourn Ubbe, as will I. But you can still have a life. I know you were my brother’s wife. And I know what some people will say. But I would do everything to make you happy. Everything.”

A question hung between them as they still held each other, Brenna’s lips parted slightly while she stared up at him in surprise.

“You deserve someone who can give you their whole heart. You-”

“I want you,” Hvitserk interjected, his tone a little more forceful. “I want you in any way you can give yourself to me. And if you can give nothing to me then I will ask nothing from you.”

Before Brenna could respond, soft hurried footsteps thudded on the floor as an awakened Raul came running towards them.

“Verk! Verk!” the small boy collied into Hvitserk’s legs. He was scooped up into his uncle’s arms with a laugh as Hvitserk balanced him against his chest. The tot clutched at him, babbling his question. “Why go?”

Hvitserk smiled at the blonde boy, still the spitting image of his own older brother. “Ah, just slaying dragons and hunting monsters,” he spoke theatrically. “But I had to come for a little bit and make sure you were taking care of your mother.”

“Don’t go ‘gain,” Raul whined as he buried his face into Hvitserk’s neck.

Hvitserk’s mouth twitched, not sure what to say as his nephew held him tightly. “I-”

“Don’t worry, love” Brenna stepped closer to stroke her son’s hair, her other hand on Hvitserk’s shoulder. “Uncle is going to stay with us.”

Surprised, Hvitserk looked down to her, vulnerability in her face as she looked back up at him. He wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her close into his other side.

“Yes. I’m staying here with you.”

*** The warden had led Ubbe into a lavishly decorated room, tapestries and ornaments covered the cold stone walls. It was obvious he was in a great castle.

_And yet it still stinks of shit_ , Ubbe thought to himself.

His shackles remained on his wrists and ankles but he had been left with a goblet of fine wine and had been instructed to sit and wait. And so he waited.

Finally, the thick double doors were thrown open by two more armored guards and in walked a smaller man wearing a crown, his graying hair falling around his shoulders.

“Ragnar?” the man breathed, his blue eyes widening in surprise as he surveyed a confused Ubbe. “But no, it can’t be.”

Ubbe rose to his feet, ignoring the guards that barreled in front of the king. “I am Ubbe, eldest son of Ragnar Lothbrok and Aslaug, Prince of Kattegat, he sneered proudly.

A smile crept across the elder man’s face as he waved at his guards to lower their swords. “Of course you are.”


End file.
